Day 9 of The 365 Day Experiment: Screw Leaning In. Sit Up Straight And Take A Stand.

I have no particular issue with Sheryl Sandberg.  She’s a highly accomplished woman who has done much and has a truly remarkable career.  That said, I have a bit of a different stance when it comes to her perspectives on “Leaning In”.

In my professional life, I have largely been surrounded by men.  When you choose to work in high tech environments, you’re going to see a lot of that…and thankfully, over the years I’ve watched it changed to a more balanced world.  However, to survive in that environment - especially as a young woman - you need to find your voice early. 

It is my belief that if you think of yourself as unequal, people will treat you as such.  For example, if you walk into a meeting thinking, I’m the only woman here…no one will respect what I have to say”, you’ve already set yourself up for failure.  

One of Sheryl’s signature examples, leaving the office by 5:30 to have dinner with her family, was highly applauded.  She believes it was a brave move to finally speak up and “go public” about doing this.  Wow.  Is that seriously where we are at with the women’s movement?  It strikes me if an executive of her stature takes a stand on something as simple as this, and it gets that much press, there sure aren’t a lot of women living out the careers they want to be living. In this day of technology, when so many of us never truly “shut down”, is it that big a deal to leave at a reasonable time so you can have dinner with your family?  The email will always be there.  You can check it after dinner if you must.  

Forget leaning in. Sit up straight, and take a stand.  Prepare.  Know your stuff down cold.  Listen attentively to other’s points of view, but don’t be afraid to argue your point.   Own it.  Honestly, this isn’t just true for women, this is true for anyone - young people, men, women, etc.  I’m already trying to ensure my two daughters embrace this while they are still  young.  

So many opportunities are open to women these days.  And yes, IT IS difficult to balance it all.  I’m a firm believer, and frankly, a decent example, that if you want something to happen for yourself badly enough, you will drive it to happen.  You may have to work harder than everyone else.  You may have to have a single minded focus.  You may have zero work/life balance for a time.  But you’ll get there.   don’t blame others.  Others can provide you with opportunities.  It is your responsibility to take advantage of every one put in front of you to help you accomplish your goals.   

You don’t have to be an alpha dog to be heard and respected - but you have to be willing to stand up and be counted.  If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?