I love men. But, wow, would I love to teach a class to some of the young ones about the art of picking up women.
Let me share tonight’s adventure. I went out after work with my good friend. (She will not let me share her name but encouraged me to point out she is beautiful and was wearing fabulous earrings and she’s right on both counts) We went to our company’s weekly “Thirsty Thursday” event. This week, it was like a college mixer - we brought together our Cambridge AND Boston offices.
After getting the chance to catch up with one of my favorite buddies, I got flagged over by one of our guys - let’s call him LL Cool X. He was hanging a bit apart from the rest of our team, enjoying a drink with one of his non-work friends. X and I have had an ongoing joke for the past year or so that I could pick up a woman faster than he could. I’m fully confident I could do better. Mind you, I have ZERO interest in women. And X is a great looking guy with some game. He’s a great guy, and I’m not intending to pick on him, but I share this story to illustrate a point. What do I know that he doesn’t?
What women want.
His opening line to me? ”Did you lose weight?”. Actually, I haven’t. But a simple “Hey Christina, you look great” would have gone a long way in terms of a compliment. I’m not overly sensitive, but that’s just not what a girl wants to hear - like maybe I needed to lose a couple of pounds is what I heard as his opening line.
I know there is a myth about women caring about how much money you make, or what kind of car you drive, or all the other shallow stuff. And to some, I am sure yes, that’s really important. But to the majority of women, the stuff that really matters is the basic stuff when you meet her. Ultimately, I think we all just want to be seduced.
Dos:
- Start a conversation. You don’t need to do everything - throw a simple comment out there to get it started. Girls don’t like lines - they like compliments. A simple “that dress looks amazing on you” or if you really want to go over the top “you hang with a beautiful group of friends, but you really stand out”…that stuff gets us every time if you can pull it off with sincerity
- Listen to what she’s saying. Look her in the eye when you talk to her. Actually connect.
- Make her feel like she’s the most important person in the room. No one else has your attention but her.
- Smile. Get your flirt on. Touch. (not grope). Tease. It’s all a game. Have some fun with her.
Don’t:
- Check out other girls when you are talking to her.
- Be a pig. Making completely inappropriate sexual comments within 10 minutes of meeting someone isn’t cool - you just look like an ass.There’s a difference between suggestive and innappropriate. Learn the difference.
- Ask for her number if you aren’t actually going to call her. If she thinks you connected and you are mad because she wouldn’t go home with you, don’t take her number. The girl will sit there for days waiting for you to call. Just end the agony early.
- Sleep with her the first night if you actually like her. Most of my 20-30 year old guy buddies out “cupcaking’” (my new favorite word) hoping to score and lucky enough to do so do not care about this. But if you actually really like someone and want to see them again, try and be a good guy for a night, and be patient. Pretend you are in high school, make out, and say goodnight. And then ask her out again. It will pay off.
Boys, seduction is all about attitude. No one cares how big your arms are or how good you smell if you can’t carry a conversation or make us feel special for a little period of time. You don’t need to be the best looking guy in the room. You just need to be the one who has the best execution.
The more I watch some of these young guys worked their mojo, I’m fairly confident I could grabbing ladies numbers faster. And that ain’t a good thing. :)
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