Last week I wrote of “Zoe,” who has become the sister I never had. I’ve got another friend that falls into that category as well. When Zoe and I formed our group back five years ago, “Julia” was one of the women we pulled in. I had known of her on the periphery of our older daughter’s friends circuit, and had heard only great things about her. However, our paths had never really crossed other than to say a quick hello.
And then we met “for real.” And as we started getting to know each other, we learned our stories were remarkably similar. We were born within two weeks of each other. We each have two daughters, the same ages, both completely different from one another. We both have one younger brother. We both married younger guys. We are both short Italians. Our families have houses at the Cape about 2 miles from each other. And we both love to laugh at pretty much everything.
Julia, however, and I are a great balance. She’s the ying to my yang. She’s the deeply analytic friend, who will examine any problem. Often, this offers a great differing perspective and helpful alternative point of view. Sometimes, given I come at everything from a gut approach, I meet her analysis with, “why the hell are you are you over-thinking this so much?” But mostly I don’t. I get where she’s coming from. It’s what makes her, her.
She’s the friend who greets you with “HEY, GIRLLLLLL!” on your voicemail, and you get an immediate smile. Having grown up on the South Shore, she has her own vernacular which is largely entertaining and sometimes questionable. ”Tit,” “ass,” and “douche” are favorites. And the way she can artfully weave them into her sentences leaves one laughing rather than finding them crude references. My all time favorite of her expressions, however, is “unit.” Not being what I initially thought, this apparently is a reference for an “outfit.” Used correctly, she might say “Chrissy, that is a sick unit you are rocking tonight.” (and yes, she is one of the few people outside of my family and people who knew me before the age of 18 who dare call me Chrissy.)
Julia is the kind of friend who I can relate to well. She has a big job out of the home (and in the home too), is completely dedicated to her family, her friends, and is trying really hard to keep it in balance. We differ in some places too. She is way better than I at taking care of herself. She has a great marriage. And she is WAY more outgoing. She’s great for me to be around.
And like Zoe’s family, her family has been amazing to the kids and I, always. Today we did as we have done each summer for the past several years…we hopped on their boat, and enjoyed a great day together. We returned to Spectacle Island off Boston, and collected washed up sea glass. (illegal, but so damn pretty) We laughed at those things that are familiar to only us. And we basked in the friendship that comes with the term we created for each other, “soul sister.”
I adore men. I have found them to be far less dramatic, and easier in general when it comes to friendship. But I feel truly, truly blessed to have a few women in my life that I would literally take a bullet for. These are the women that I laugh with. Cry with. Share the trials of parenthood and relationships with. They are my sisters. They are my soul.
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