I went to a club in Boston last night to hear a friend’s nephew’s band play. They were fantastic. We were older than the majority of the crowd easily by 15-20 years, and we could have cared less. We were right up in front, dancing and having a great time. My friend hopped on stage and sat in with the band and killed with Folsom Prison Blues. All in all, a great night out.
And yet, as we took a break and checked out the crowd from a staircase elevated above the dance floor, I couldn’t help but look at all the twentysomethings - hammered, sloppy, and employing their best mating rituals. It appeared the only thing that has changed in the twenty years since I was really hanging out in clubs as “one of them” is the complete lack of social connection because they are all heads down texting - and frankly, me.
The beautiful girls are still flocked by overeager boys, who man up after several cocktails and wander over one by one praying their turn at bat will end better than the guy before them. Rarely does it. These girls were all too busy trying to catch the eye of the Ben Affleck-doppelganger-of-a-lead singer. Unfortunately, the Jonah Hill - lookalike actually hitting on them was a sorry stand in - because he looked like Jonah, but didn’t share his hysterical talent to compensate.
I stood next a striking girl, tall and exotic looking, who must have been around 25. She’s the girl every guy checks out, but none has the courage to approach. As we watched her, I whispered, “You couldn’t pay me to trade places with her.” Yes, she had youth and beauty. But she lacked confidence. You could tell by the uncomfortable way she moved on the dance floor and how she constantly played with her hair and phone that she had no comfort in her place with her friends. She was looking to her gaggle of girls for social cues on how to act, when to dance, and when to get the next drink. Rather than envy her, I thought, “She’s going to be so much happier in 10 years.”
It then struck me I interact with a lot of younger women on a daily basis who are navigating this world right now. Wondering who is going to find them attractive, and like them for “them.” Competing with their girlfriends for that one cute guy. And while they truly care about each other as friends, there is that secret thrill that he might choose YOU - and you might WIN. And of course, if he picks none of you, he must be a total loser.
When I was younger, I always thought older women said “with age comes wisdom” to make themselves feel better. Almost like a consolation prize for getting wrinkles and losing that youthful glow. But they were right. And if I can marry that wisdom with a joy of life, a youthful spirit and the ability to still fit into my skinny jeans - I have zero fear of getting older.
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