Tonight I got to hang out with my girlfriends. About once a month we all congregate in one of our homes, to gather where both the drinks and laughter are plentiful. I go home each of those nights with a soul full from hours spent sharing stories, random entertainment from whoever is “on” that night, and just from straight-up having enjoyed my friends’ company.
When I moved out of the anonymous city and into the suburbs 10 years ago, I was less than excited. I knew it was the best thing for my children (school systems, backyard, safety, etc,) but I worried I would lose my city sensibility. I love the edge, the culture, and the convenience being in the city provides. And then the thoughts flooded my mind “what if we didn’t meet anyone like us?” It would be a long 20 years before the kids left for college and a city life would be realistic once again.
My mom reassured me I would meet friends through the kids’ school. I waited patiently, and met a few. Then, one morning while at a volunteer meeting for room parents, I met “Zoe” (she provided me with this code name with the explanation that I look like someone who would hang out with a girl name Zoe. For the record, I don’t know any.) We connected immediately, and in an instant, I fell in love with my adopted town.
Together, Zoe and I gathered a group of 13 women who have stuck together for the past 5 years - united through the common bond of having a child in the same grade - but it goes so far beyond that. The group initially formed to play a ridiculous card game that none of us seems to have ever cared about, but it gave our time together structure. For the past five years, we have gathered monthly. And while some sub-groups among the 13 may see or talk to each other throughout the month, we try to hold these nights sacred. As a result, our families have become close. The husbands have formed their own friendships among themselves, and started their own poker game too. We’ve thrown epic parties - most of which seem to involve costumes not during Halloween. And while some of our kids are friendly on their own, when we are all together, they hang out like cousins.
There is a sense of comfort and family with this group of women that is enviable among the other moms we know in town. We know how to have fun with each other. We don’t talk about each other behind each others’ backs. We have survived divorces and cancer, and other unwritable drama. We are now tackling the pre-teen years together, tackling the sticky issues through candid sharing, graphic stories and humorous coaching of one another. But through it all, this group of friends has stood by each other. Always with laughter, support and perspective.
Tonight, I sat in front of a fire in my friend’s beautiful home. After another wonderful evening covering a variety of topics which started at laser hair removal and morphed to speculation on which of our kids might be gay, I finally faced my friends - the ones who have seen me tear up nearly every month for many months - and tearlessly shared what I had been through over the past year. These people, the ones I care so much about, I finally came clean with. As part of that, I shared that I had been writing, which I had only mentioned to two of them before tonight.
The card game is long gone. Now we get to just bask in the joy of each other’s company. Sometimes in each of our homes, sometimes we take the show on the road. It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as we get the time together. Ladies, thank you for being my friends - I am truly blessed.
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