Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys passed away one year ago today. And while I was never a huge fan of their music, it’s hard not to respect that man’s unique soul, commitment to Tibet, and impact on the evolving rap genre.
When I was reminded of his death today as I scrolled through my phone during a rare break between kids activities, I was reminded of others in my own life whose deaths I have found out about electronically. It struck me over the past two years, I have lost five people in my life who were once fairly significant (as in real friends, not just “hey, that kid that was in your brother’s class, remember him?”). Each of them, save the last, I learned of on Facebook.
Granted, people move, and it’s a brilliant way to share information to a broad group quickly. But wow. There is something absolutely heartbreaking about going to an old boyfriend’s site and seeing agonizing posts from friends and family remembering him a year later. Part of me loves social media for that. The other part of me hates it. I feel like an intruder in these private moments of grief and loss.
What’s more, I find I cannot remove these people from my contact list on my phone. I’m not a particularly sentimental person. Until I had kids, I saved nothing - my best memories were all filed away in my brain for me to enjoy at my leisure. But now with these still smiling faces on Facebook, I cannot bring myself to delete them. If their families haven’t chosen to delete them from that world, I will respect them by not deleting them from my world yet either.
It’s odd to be 45 and have friends already gone, and the older I get, the frequency with which that occurs will astound me I’m sure. So to honor them, I will do the best thing I know how to do. Visit their Facebook pages, remember them fondly, and live each day I have as if it is my last. Of all the expensive silver bracelets I have been given over the years and never take off, there is one nestled in the pack that is ultimately the most meaningful. It is cheap in price but so rich in meaning. It is printed with words “Life is not a dress rehearsal”. I heed those words every single day.
Rest in peace, Adam, and all my old friends.
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