Thursday, January 23, 2014

Day 206 of The 365 Day Experiment. That is SO Fetch.

Fans of the movie Mean Girls will immediately recognize the word “fetch,” and ten years later, we realize it’s still not going to happen. But as with every cool trend from high school you fall in love with, you try hard to make it work.
Mean Girls came out ten years ago, and yet it could have come out when I was in high school, or hit the theaters tomorrow.  Some themes remain relevant no matter what year they appear.  Struggles with popularity and body changes, and whether the cute guy will ask you to the dance; those all go with growing up.   One thing, however, has drastically changed since I was in school.  Sex.
Yes, people had sex when I was in high school. However, it was a pretty quiet thing.  You didn’t wear it as a badge of honor, and if you did, you were likely in a pretty serious relationship.  Those who operated outside of those norms were of course labeled with horrible names.  It was pretty standard stuff though.  We had “bases”, and as kids worked their way through middle school on into the later years of high school, they would work their way around the bases.  Not everyone.  But that’s generally how it worked.
And now I’m dealing with my 7th grade daughter’s understanding of sex.  She is about to learn details in her health class that are making me seriously wonder what the hell has happened to our youth.  And yes, that makes me sound old, but seriously?!  It’s massively messed up that a parent should be nostalgic for good old fashioned sex when they are thinking about their daughter.  Her thirteen year old daughter.  Let me explain.
My daughter is about to learn about different varieties of sex in school.  I’m talking oral, vaginal and anal.  Are you f’ing kidding me?!  Why you might ask?  Because if I understand correctly, in today’s teenage world, kids are having anal sex as a form of allowing the girls to remain “virgins.”  I will give these boys massive points for their incredible sales skills, because I know a tremendous amount of adult men who have not been able to pull that feat off.  All joking aside, it absolutely floors me that this is what kids are doing as a form of sexual expression right out of the gate.  Seriously, what the hell is left for them?  Full on Fifty Shades action with partner number two?  
And the schools feel like they need to educate these kids now, before the “exploration” starts.  My daughter is not excited for this set of classes.  I don’t blame her.  To prepare her, we had a preliminary conversation about some of it.  For any parent who is squeamish at the thought of having “the talk” with their kid, just consider tossing oral sex into that chat.  AAAwwwkkkwwwaaarrrddd.  
And here is my favorite part of the whole thing.  After all this learning about what the kids of today are doing to show their affection for one another, I found out this is just the audition.  They hook up and then decide if they want to actually date. Wait, what?!  You mean, I could be 15 years old, have anal sex with you, and THEN you decide if you want to take me to Olive Garden with a group of 16 other kids?  F THAT.   I am fairly certain if I was a teenage girl in 2014, I would not be dating - or doing - anyone.  
I’ve got my work cut out for me with two young daughters.  Yes, we all know what teenage boys are after.  That has been consistent for decades.  But how girls choose to respect themselves and respond to it?  We’ve got a lot of work to do there, ladies.  I have no illusions of my daughters being virgins when they get married.  I do, however, expect them to respect their bodies, and respect themselves.  
Anything less would be so NOT fetch.  

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