My daughters received the golden ticket this Christmas. In pre-teen language, that means they received tickets to see One Direction, the latest boy band to intoxicate young girls with their skinny jeans and Beiber-esque hair. This means, of course, I will be seeing these five man-boys as well. Ah, what we do for our children.
I’ve taken my girls to a handful of concerts over the past few years, and am blissfully happy to know I am raising sane girls. Since the days of Elvis and The Beatles, there seems to be some crazy dynamic of young girls absolutely losing it when a decent-looking musical guy takes the stage. Crying, screaming, insanity. My girls have not taken to this behavior. They dig the bands and think the guys are cute, but they seem take it all in stride. I am grateful for this. I take it as a good sign for the future.
I’m convinced that we are a society obsessed with fame. It used to be you earned your fame, or you were born into it. Today it seems the names that get the most attention are those who are famous for being famous. What the hell is that? And why do we care about these people? Maybe the Kardashians are lovely people; I don’t know them, so I can’t judge them. It floors me, however, that this family is printing money exploiting each other on tv, all for our entertainment pleasure. What do they actually do? And why do more people know Bruce Jenner for his bad plastic surgery than they do for his Olympic Gold?
Our children are growing up in a generation where social media allows them to star in their own show, on a non-stopping basis. The constant selfies, YouTube videos of themselves, pithy Tweets …they all try to outdo each other. Rarely are they clever and standout, but those who do become superstars. They are growing up in an age where they actually consider their brand and their image, prepping themselves for a life of “fame.”
If you think about it, it makes sense why it looks so appealing. Famous people always looks so glamorous; so happy. They are wealthy, and they are thin. They seem to have perfect lives. On the surface level, it is understandable why young people aspire to this.
Here’s how I turn it around to my girls. Sure, fame looks enticing. I am thoroughly convinced if I had access to a personal trainer, a stylist and had someone doing my hair and make up everyday I could look almost famous too. And I could make millions dollars a year on a movie set. And, yes, maybe I would get some cool perks like a great table in a restaurant, but would it truly make me happy? I doubt it. (Reality check: Yes, this would be cool for a few days, but I would be the worst famous person ever. I would out-Kanye paparazzi by with my hostility for having my picture taken, and would loathe being recognized. Yep, the money and glamour is fun to think about, but the lifestyle is about as desirable as a stint in prison to me.)
I believe the only way we find joy in life is to find our own meaning and purpose. Being able to follow our own paths, with our own vision for our future and being truthful with oneself is far more valuable than any red carpet. Just ask all those famous people who have crashed and burned, because they had no real raison d’etre. They were just famous. It didn’t make them good people, and it sure doesn’t always make them happy.
It troubles me, this world we live in, where Miley Cyrus needs to twerk to gain attention, and then has legions of young girls follow her lead because they think it’s cool. Lady Gaga seems to get it. She has begun to tone herself down, and is beginning to let her talent speak for her. Really, how many meat dresses can a woman wear before you become more famous for your outrageousness than you do for your talent?
All of us know someone famous, or know of someone who is connected to someone who knows someone famous. They are just regular people. Perhaps regular people in extraordinary circumstances, but regular people all the same. Just like you and me.
Which is why I’m glad my daughters are learning not to put a premium on fame. In this house, we’re focused on figuring out who you are, and owning that. And then maximizing your potential. And if in the most unlikely of circumstances whatever they do with their lives was to cause fame, well, then, they will have earned it. And then we will have a discussion about doing good with your fame (ala Audrey Hepburn and Paul Newman) vs. becoming tabloid fodder just to keep your name in the press.
We are all stars. Each and every one of us. Some shine a little more brightly. They are not better because of it; they just twinkle a little more.
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