Day 191 of The 365 Day Experiment. To Worry or Not To Worry, That Is The Question.

I am not a worrier. My older daughter, my mother and pretty much every one around me worries for me.  I often get very frustrated by this.  And they get frustrated by me.  

I think we are all wired differently. My predisposition is to never worry unless I have something to worry about. I was quite in during the fall.  I was having a whole lot of blood work done and for a period of two weeks my doctors were zeroing in on a fairly scary diagnosis. And yet, I didn’t let my head go there. And I’m glad. Because I turned out to be fine. If I had wasted those two weeks worrying, I would have likely made myself worse.

And yet I understand it’s a natural state for so many. Perhaps it is the fear of the unknown, or the loss of control. I just know that I function in such an opposite way, I have taken to not sharing things (like my health challenges, or adventures I might take) because I don’t like causing the worriers to worry.

It is vexing, this dichotomy of mind sets. For example, my mother finds my attitude “cavalier.” I think of it as practical. Why would I waste my precious time worried about that which I can’t do anything about? And I can’t understand why so many in my life “waste” their time worrying about things that will likely never happen, or that are just plain out of their control.

Of course, many of us make back up plans, and think through scenarios so we don’t need to worry. For example, I don’t worry about being a single mom of two girls managing the rest of my life on my own. Maybe I should worry more. But in my mind, I’m smart, I’ve got a decent plan in place, and I will just execute against it. If it doesn’t work, I will course correct. Over the past year, I’ve confirmed I can do that pretty well. And maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to do it on my own at some point.

From where I sit, excessive worrying is just an unhealthy way to approach life. It creates stress and anxiety. My daughter’s excessive worrying about the weather causes her great angst and clearly affects her mood when she sees dark cloud looming.  It in turn causes stress and negative reactions from those around her.  I have worked with her actively for years now to help alleviate this worry.  We’ve made some progress on this and her other worries, but it’s a toughie.  She’s just a born worrywart.  I’m certain having me as a mother doesn’t not help.

I live in a world where I constantly need to remind myself that people are all wired differently and we need to accept people for who they are.  While I do fairly well on that mantra on most levels, when it comes to the concept of worrying, I have much work to do.