Day 260 of The 365 Day Experiment. Rack of Ages.

If I take a day off of work, I want it to be because I am doing something fun.  Like indoor skydiving with my daughter for her birthday last year when we both played hooky for example.  Needing to work at home so I can squeeze in a few doctors appointments is not my idea of a good time.  That said,  now that I am a "woman of a certain age," those doctors appointments have taken on more meaning. 

Let's take my chest for example.  It's rather unremarkable.  It was never a highlight until I was into my twenties, and then for a brief decade, it somehow caught up with the rest of my body in a belated puberty and served me well.  And then kids happened.  And somehow, I ended up looking like I did when I was seventeen again.  It's rough enough when your thirteen year daughter is six inches taller than you.  When she's sporting a bigger bra size, it's an ego swallowing moment. 

And now here I am at the time of my life when I worry not about how my chest looks anymore (ok, I do a little) but how healthy it is.  Gone are the days of worrying about how fantastic I'm going to look in a v-neck.  Now, the priority is focused on mammogram results and ensuring the lumps we've found twice before really aren't anything, and these checks just continue to be preventative.  It's health first, vanity second.  Jesus, I sound like such an adult. 

My grandmother didn't live like this.  She passed away just over a year ago, at age 94.  She hadn't been to the doctor since she gave birth to my aunt, some 60+ years before.  Maybe there was something to that.  It was part just not ever wanting to ever know if something was wrong, part fantastic genes, and part believing, "whatever is to be, will be."  I kind of get that.  

I'm certainly not my grandmother.  I go to the doctor for my preventive checkups.  When I am really sick, I take medicine.  And when something is really wrong, like when I got really ill last fall, I don't panic.  I just deal with it.  I don't suffer from the illness that comes from over worrying that seems to plague many in my family.  I seem to be able to just take things in stride and only stress out about my health if there is something to actually stress out about.  I am really grateful for that small gift. 

So today I survived another scan, which appears to be clean.  I love the language that accompanies it.  My "unremarkable" rack may not be as physically great as it was back in the day.  But at this point in my life, I'll take that unremarkable comment all day long.