I've made it nearly 300 days without about my parents. I will write this while attempting to do that. It's going to be rough; but I'm going to make the assumption that many people can relate.
Recently, I wrote about how we move out of our parents house at 18 for a reason. Nothing like spending a week on vacation to drive that point home. And I'm in the middle of living that "situation" right now. My friend suggested I write about the topic of "Thoughts from the linai." That sounded way too upbeat for me.
This week has highlighted the best and worst things for me in our family relationship. While we don't get to see each other very often now that my parents no longer have a home in Massachusetts, we have all been on our best behavior. We all know each other's hot buttons, and have been making an active attempt not to push them. And yet, if you spend that much time together, stuff is bound to happen.
And for all the wonderful moments we've had this week, like their party last night, and the great times with the kids, it's hard for adults of different generations to connect when they are parent/child relationships involved. Example: my mom believes her role in life is to serve and nurture. And while she is an incredible hostess and makes everyone in her home feel welcome, we are family. I do not need lunch meat beautifully displayed on a platter before we assemble sandwiches. I do not need a nice plate for my sandwich…because I don't even eat sandwiches. So no, I don't want a f'ing panini. Please put the panini maker back in the closet. Just let me throw some turkey slices on a paper plate and call it a simple lunch. I swear that makes me happy and doesn't make you look bad.
Her attempts to be incredibly gracious, loving and nurturing actually cause me great stress. She's being herself, and I am being myself by having a physical reaction not wanting to be waited on. So many people love to be taken care of. I am just not one of them.
So we all do our best. Every family has its share of family dynamics. It doesn't make you dysfunctional. It makes your human. Just because you are born into a family doesn't mean you are going to magically unite with everyone in it. Hopefully, over a lifetime of shared experiences and memories, you love each other and know that no matter what, these are the people who are there for you no matter what. I am so grateful to have that with my parents and brother. But it doesn't mean the stupid little things don't cause massive irritation to everyone involved.
So it's ready to be heading home soon. For me, and for them. No matter how much they read or do something productive, my dad can no longer bear to witness the programs my kids want to watch on television. Or the limited food choices my younger daughter still has. And I need to go back to my own brand of stress, not let panini makers drive me to the brink.
It has been an mostly great week with a family that I love. I've got one more day, and I intend to make the most of it. As one of my teammates says, "breathe in, breathe out." Or as another one might say, "Just have a glass of wine on the linai." I think I'll do both.
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