How do you follow up a breakdown in a breakdown lane? With a face plant on a highly congested street wearing a short dress and a new pair of heels. Hopefully when you do it, you are with a friend who is as gracious and empathetic as mine was when it happened to me on our way out tonight.
I'm actually fairly coordinated. Maybe because I've got a low center of gravity, I don't fall or trip often. I suppose that's a good thing. This time, however, it did actually hurt, and I have a hell of a scuff on my right hand and leg. And yet when it happened, I popped right back up and kept walking. I'll come back to this in a bit, so hold this thought…
"Lexi" (her name choice) is my younger friend who happens to be a reader of this Experiment. She reached out wanting to catch up. I must admit, while I was eager to hear what was going on in her life, I wasn't super excited to discuss what was going on in mine. There is a really awkward dynamic now when I know people are actively following what I write, understanding they know far more about my life and thoughts than I know about them. Given I have no one to blame but myself for being in this position, however, I still took the opportunity to get together. If nothing else, I thought it would be a good chance to hang out with a cool girl for a bit, as well as get an insight on why the hell she invests the time to read my stuff everyday.
And both goals were met.
Cool she is. I love that about getting older. When we were kids, ages made such a difference. When you are in high school, dating someone two years older was a huge deal. As you get older, that is seemingly insignificant. Same goes for friends. While life differences certainly play a factor in deep friendships, there is something really nice about being to hang out with someone just because they are really interesting, smart, funny, etc. regardless of how old she/he is. She hit on all those marks tonight, and inspired me to want to go out of my way to want to help her on something I know is really important to her.
The other piece, about her reading my stuff, was also insightful. When I got the courage to just ask "why?!", she just gave me a very blunt answer. I'm paraphrasing here, because I can't begin to recapture her far more eloquent words…but she suggested that I just say what other people are thinking, but wouldn't dare to admit. Could that be true? I mean, come on, we all have stuff going on in our lives. I can't be the only one who admits I have feelings about it. Granted, perhaps the majority of people don't publicly write about it.
But then it struck me. Not only did I do a very public face plant tonight, on a street, with tons of passersby watching me. But I did it and I got up and kept walking. I didn't give a s*it that I fell. I just kept moving. And maybe that is what makes me a bit of an oddity, and perhaps why people might like to peer in. I am willing to do the public face plant, and then willing to admit to it. Because whether it's on a street, or in a relationship, or at work, or wherever, that is part of life. For every amazing, incredible success or interesting thing that happens in my life, there is a face plant and a skinned knee just around the corner to keep you humble. And I am totally ok with that. Its kept me learning, and its kept me wanting to know what's behind that next open door.
So thank you, Lexi. You energized me tonight after an incredibly long day, and you made it fun for me to do something that is normally very difficult for me. You also gave me a bunch more thoughts about our discussion, which has fueled that idea engine. I love being able to brainstorm with people and walk away with something better than what I walked in with.
I should face plant more often.
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