I don't watch a ton of television these days, but when I do, one of my favorite shows is Shameless. The writing and acting are great, and it's also interesting to follow the life of a family whose experience is so completely different than my own.
One of the storylines this season was about how the oldest sister Fiona, who acts as the caretaker for her four siblings, finds herself in a bit of legal trouble and ultimately ends up under house arrest. I remember watching the episode and thinking to myself, I would go insane being in that position.
Of course, I'd probably go more crazy being in real prison. I've often spoken of the military and prison as being two of my biggest fears. I've clearly got experience with neither, but with all that I have learned of both, the loss of control and freedom to think for myself I am certain would drive me mad. And while I am certain it is completely ignorant of me to put the military - the soldiers who I respect immensely for serving our country, mind you - in the same category as prison, I can't help but to know myself well enough to know if I had to do time in either, it probably wouldn't bring out the best in my mental health.
House arrest, however, offers that odd purgatory. You are able to sleep in your own bed and eat your own food. Perhaps even work a job between certain hours. However you are still highly restricted and monitored by that ankle bracelet. That is one piece of bling I'm certain no one wants to sport.
Maybe for a few days I could make the best of it. I bet I'd catch up on a bunch of books that I had been dying to read. I'd probably do a ton of cooking and baking, and spend a ton of time in my kitchen. Maybe I would not set an alarm, and relish sleeping an extra few minutes in the morning. And then reality would kick in and I would begin to go stir crazy.
I am almost certain I would set some kind of stupid goal for myself, not unlike this Experiment, so I would have something productive to show for my time spent in the house at the end of my sentence. Maybe finally I would become an accomplished guitar player or speak fluent Italian. Or maybe I'd attempt to write a book.
The other thing I am almost positive I'd do on day one, is to go outside and test my boundaries; not unlike a dog with a new invisible fence. I'd want to see exactly how far I could go before I set off that beeper. And I would likely set up a chair right on the border, catching sun or hanging out on my property, daring that thing to go off and the police to show up and find me exactly where I am supposed to be. Because I am really immature that way.
As I am writing this, I am really glad I keep myself out of trouble. My parents' warning in high school during my rebellious days to "Not do anything to disrespect this family by ending up in the Police Blotter," were heeded and served as a good set of boundaries of just how far I should push. I'm glad I've retained some of that good sense now that I'm trying to be a good role model to two daughters.
But still…there are so many boundaries asking to be pushed. I'm glad I've focused on the productive, legal ones. But if I'm ever under house arrest, please come visit me.
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