Several years ago, a friend of mine and I were working on a change management project for work. We were trying to drive the point home; that this evolution was a necessary part of the company's growth strategy. We conceived of making hats with the simple slogan "change or die."
We decided that was probably a little over the top.
Though dramatic, it's accurate. We all need to adapt to the things that change around us, or eventually, things just move on and leave us in their wake. Simple, goofy example. Ever walk into a mall, or a theme park, and see a person with a decades old hairstyle? It might have looked phenomenal on them in 1982. 34 years later, however, it just looks dated and only serves to make them look like they have no idea how to move forward.
So what drives that characteristic in me?
I used to fear that I was afraid to commit to things. To a job, or to marriage, or to children, because they were all so "permanent." And yet I've embraced my career, and being a mother with every bit of gusto I can muster. I guess I've found a way to make it "my own," so that it doesn't feel at all smothering or life-ending like all "permanent decisions" always strike me. Maybe that's because the career that I've chosen allows me the opportunity to start and finish something, so I can chart my success - but it always allows me an opportunity to get out and do it again. There's always a fresh start. And my kids are getting older. There is always a new stage in their development; something new to conquer together. Without a doubt, they are the one bit of permanency I have never questioned.
It's an odd juxtaposition; being a responsible person who craves change. I like finishing what I start. I like completion and results. This Experiment for example. I stopped about Day 90, and couldn't live with myself…I went back to it after a month because I had angst over not finishing what I started. And yet, that same person gets restless and distracted so easily.
I've learned a few things over the years though, about this peculiar behavior of mine.
For one, most people aren't as comfortable with change as I am. It suits my choice of career and the environment I work in for certain. And while I attempt to hire like minded people, it's hard to find a plethora of "change friendly" people. So while change is inevitable in hyper growth companies, I do my best to make it more clear and easy for those people. I've learned that if people know what to expect and anticipate, it creates far less anxiety.
I've also found that I need to find happiness within myself, not within change itself. I believe that for most of my adulthood, I've looked to the changes I've made as the solutions to what was making me unhappy in that moment. I would say to myself, "If I change this job", or "if I tackle this issue with my marriage." Those are important things to address if they are broken. At the end of the day, however, they won't solve the real problem though, they are just temporary solutions.
Change for change sake isn't healthy. I am now focusing on finding my happiness from within. As a result, I'm learning I don't need the constant rush of change in my life to keep me excited. I'm excited about my life wherever and whatever I'm doing. That said, that probably also has a lot to do with the fact that I literally have no idea what my life will look like five years from now. I feel like that scene from Ferris Bueller, when Ferris and his friends are standing against the glass at the top of the Sears Tower, noses pressed against the glass, looking straight down. There is that feeling of free falling at any moment. I f'ing love that feeling.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maya Angelou.
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