Nice A** from last night sparked quite the number of conversations…including one started at about 6:45 am this morning when I walked into work. I love beginning my insanely early mornings with my teammate. We are kindred spirits in that we are both hyper committed to our work AND a great laugh. He had plenty to say on last night’s post, and was full of critique about what I had left out (the allure of yoga pants, etc.) However, as I sat and ate my yogurt and listened to his rant, we somehow veered the topic in a different direction. Rather than focusing on the mystique of women’s butts, we spent a good ten minutes trying to brainstorm great looking male rock stars. He and I clearly have different taste. Which brings me to tonight’s topic…what makes someone sexy. And by someone, I’m tackling men AND women with this one.
We’ve already determined long ago I do not follow the norm, so I’m suspecting to get a bunch of pushback on this. But here’s my take…
First off, several months ago I wrote about what made someone attractive. (See Day 94). Sexy is different than attractive. And for men and women, I think we think about this differently. Women first. I’ll take a crack at what I think men think tomorrow.
What I believe most women find sexy in men:
Talent. We love men with skills. Doesn’t really matter what it is, but this explains why the homeliest of rock stars get the girls. You don’t need to wail on the guitar though…if you are a master of something (cooking, music, a sport, etc.) we just love that.
You Actually Know How To Listen. I know. This is a toughie. If guys actually pay attention and figure out what we care about - both the basics (you remember my favorite flowers, how I take my coffee, or why I can’t stand bacon) and the more serious (an issue at work or a communication challenge I might be having with my parents), we feel cared about. If you can listen and not always try to solve the problem, very sexy.
A Big…Brain. A good friend of mine in high school has a brilliant mom. At 18, she told us, don’t just go for the hotties - realize looks fade over time. Be smart and look for guys who are smart. How true she was. Intelligence can stand the test of time long after the looks go.
An Amazing Smile. We all have different types. But one thing it is hard to disagree on is a great smile. Good teeth, and a great big genuine smile is one thing that we can all agree on.
Kindness. Whether it is to children, elderly, animals, whoever - if we a guy being kind to others I believe we interpret he will be kind to us as well.
Humor Me. Keep us laughing and we’re yours. It’s a way to bring people together, as the life of the party, but also as way to get people through the darker times in life too. Hey, it seems to have worked for David Spade.
Confidence. You know what you want? That makes us feel secure and that’s a major turn on. Just understand the there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Eyes. Can you look us in the eye when you talk to us? Listen to us? Before you kiss us? And if you had beautiful eyes to boot? MMMmmmm. Women love connection, and that’s a pretty awesome way to do it.
You’re A Man. I don’t care how independent or self sufficient a woman is. Every woman appreciates a guy who knows how to fix something with a tool, and knows how to hold a door open for her. That doesn’t mean you need to know how to build a house from the ground up, or jump through massive romantic hoops for us on a daily basis. It just means I believe the large majority of us appreciate men for being just that; men. And it's sexy when you know how to use that difference, and make us feel special for being your woman.
Of course, looking like David Beckham doesn’t hurt either. But men have it easier than women. We are more forgiving than men. There is a reason David Spade, Prince and Billy Bob Thorton have all scored with some of the worlds most beautiful women - and it isn’t because of their looks. These guys cover a whole lot of what’s listed above.
Can’t wait to attempt to try my hand at what men find sexy tomorrow. I’ll grab my flack jacket in preparation…
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