So sang Axl Rose. I'm using that song as background music right now, trying to slow down and focus on the word I was given by my girlfriend to write about.
I was stumped for a topic last night, and we were texting just as I was opening my laptop. I said, "got a word for me?" It took her a few minutes to get back to me, and ultimately she responded with "patience," and another word. And yet, I was impatient. I had already thought of something and was a few sentences in by the time she got back to me. Oops.
I struggle with this word. I appreciate the benefits of being in the moment and certainly honing my patience level has made me a far better parent, and a much better listener. These skills were hard earned, and well worth the effort.
I find examples and reminders of patience every single day, in the most mundane of things. I have been trying to paint a picture of tree for the past two weeks. It's now become a joke with my kids. "Are you seriously doing it AGAIN?" they tease me. In my mind though, I know exactly what I want it to look like. And I have the patience to keep at it until I get it right.
To me, patience isn't about achieving perfect. It's about having the inner strength and discipline to keep at something and trust that it will work out in the end. Like being patient in waiting that you'll meet that right person. Or that your kid will learn to walk, even if all the other kids his age are already doing it. Or that you'll finally learn that lick on the guitar.
For a long time I confused patience with complacency. They actually have nothing to do with each other. Complacency for me is about being fine with your current state and ultimately in many cases just giving up. Patience can be coupled with complacency…in which case I cannot relate to it at all. As in, I'm totally miserable in my job, but I'm doing nothing to make my situation better. I haven't done anything proactively to change my situation at work, nor have I begun to look for a new role. But I will be patient…maybe things will change.
Yeah…and most likely they won't. I'll take the under on the bet that you will still be miserable six months from now.
Or it can be partnered with actions, and then I very much understand it, and actually appreciate it even more. Think about that same job situation, where you are miserable, but instead you have taken action steps. You have spoken to your manager about what your concerns are. You have spoken to some respected colleagues for their input. You've even reached out to one or two senior people in the company for their advice and input. Still no change? Ok, so you start looking outside. You seek roles that are well suited to you, careful to avoid the pitfalls of what you are seeking to leave. But you are patient. You don't just jump at the first shiny penny. You choose the next best move for you because you've been thoughtful, weighed everything, and realize this is the best step for you. That's when patience really pays off in my mind.
Granted, this is not my strong suit. I work hard on it. It often comes at odds with my ridiculous sense of urgency. I have learned to balance the two in most cases however, and realize there is a not a good or a bad; there is room for both in my life. Patience with my children is a great thing, especially when they were tiny. Sense of urgency in hyper growth companies is imperative. It's a crazy, bi-polar set of states to constantly vacillate between. That's what makes life so fun though. It's a puzzle.
You've got to figure out what works best when. It's never perfect, and it's rarely graceful. When it all works, even for a few brief moments, stand back in awe, and take a deep breath.
Those moments are the ones for worth waiting for.
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