Philip Seymour Hoffman was arguably one of the best actors of my generation. Academy Award winning even. And yet, that talent didn't stop him from making some phenomenally bad choices when it came to drug use. Yesterday, this gifted actor was found in his bathroom dead, syringe still in his arm, surrounded by fifty bags of heroin. It sounds like a scene from a bad movie.
I've known a number of addicts in my life. Both alcohol and drug addicts, I've learned it's never who you think. When I was a teenager, I assumed addicts were the dirty people you saw on street corners. I didn't suspect they were going to be my close friends and respected colleagues. Or a boyfriend.
I am no expert on this topic, as I am not an addict. I can't begin to crawl into the mind of someone with addictive behavior, but I've been close enough as an outsider that I think I have a perspective. And I can certainly share how that disease affects those close to that person.
Every drug and alcohol abuser has their own motives for doing what they do. There is no single driver or explanation. Things might start out quite innocently. Think social or recreational use. This shared, group behavior is what draws so many young people to it. Of course, it loosens inhibitions and lessens the awkwardness of life. And of course, sometimes, it's all about the rebellion.
I don't think anyone ever sets a goal of becoming a heroin addict. You've got to work up to that. Maybe start out drinking, smoke a little weed because it feels good. You think, who doesn't want a little mood changer? Rough day? How about a glass of wine or a joint to take the edge off? And after a while you realize this doesn't cut it, and after the buzz wears off, your problems still exist. So you step it up a notch. It takes some courage to step up to sticking a needle in your arm or choosing to alter your consciousness.
And if a person crosses over from recreational user to full fledged addict, bad things usually happen. Jobs can be lost. Families and friends can disappear. Actions these people never thought they would do all of a sudden take place. A friend, now deceased, once robbed a bank for a grand total of $400 when he was at the height of his addiction. He served jail time for that, as he should have. But It took more than that to get him sober.
These people, no matter how poor their choices can seem, are still human. To help them, they need to want to be helped. Nothing is more frustrating than to watch someone you love careen their life down the highway to hell because of their disastrous choices. And yes, I understand addiction is a disease. I understand there is both chemical and psychological addiction. I also realize, however, that there is a choice to get sober. And to stay sober. And yes, if you fight those demons, that can be a insanely hard battle and choice to make each day. But it's a choice.
It's what separates Robert Downey Jr. from Philip Seymour Hoffman. Both incredibly gifted actors. Both started doing drugs very early in life. Downey's low point came in 1996 when he was arrested for possession of heroin, cocaine and an unloaded .357 Magnum while speeding down Sunset Blvd. A month later while out on parole, he passed out in a neighbor's bed while trespassing. It took it a few more years of this craziness for him to realize he had to get it together. In 2001, he staged a career comeback - and more significantly - a life comeback. He's hasn't looked back since. He's found a supportive wife, activities, meditation and a 12 step program that keep him sober.
Everyone who battles addiction follows their own path in, and needs to find their own path out. It saddens me deeply when they go the route of Philip rather than Robert. And while I know that no addict ever wants to become that way, I believe they can choose to fight it. I've got a whole lot of now sober friends that have proved that's possible. I just wish my dead ones were around to have learned from them.
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