Later today, my daughter and a small group of her friends will gather in a local mall to celebrate her birthday. She is turning 13 on Monday.
For each of my daughters’ birthdays, I’ve tried to create memories that will last with them over time. One year, we had a “rock star” party at our house, complete with a little karaoke machine and a ton of dress up clothes (mostly junk out of my closet!) The invitations went out on handmade backstage passes. I found one of them in a drawer the other day and marveled at how much time I invested trying to create an “experience” for those kids. Fortunately, I think they all really enjoyed it.
Today, they will be doing a treasure hunt through the mall. They will meet, and they will be hunting for clues that lead them to different stores. At each store they get to collect their treasure and the next clue. The final clue leads them to dinner, where we all meet up.
They are excited. It offers these girls a bit of independence and a chance to shop together - what young girl doesn’t relish that opportunity? I am excited for them. I won’t get to plan too many more of these for her, and I want to make every one count.
I feel fortunate I am able to do this for her. And I am grateful our family is happy and healthy enough that on Monday, her real birthday, her dad will come for dinner and we will celebrate together. And she’s requested a pumpkin pie, her favorite dessert, rather than a cake, which I will lovingly make for her. I'm working hard to make birthdays about making the person feel special, not about over the top gifts. I’m trying to teach my kids that just because you can afford something, doesn’t mean you should buy it. Maybe it’s the Italian in me. Food is made with love…but apparently so are celebrations.
Oddly, for the time I put into making birthdays special for my own kids, I avoid my own. I have no hang up about getting older. I’ve just never understood the concept of throwing a party for yourself or celebrating in honor of yourself. I don’t judge - it’s your birthday - do whatever you want. For me, I think it just goes back to the drawing excessive attention to myself issue. Of course it’s nice if people take a moment to say “Happy Birthday!”…but I feel guilty having people go out of their way to buy gifts or do anything to celebrate. And yet I find joy in doing it for others. I know - I’ve got some issues.
But today isn’t about me and my weirdness. It’s all about my daughter and ensuring she a great day celebrating with her friends. Happy Birthday, my newly minted teenager. You are an exceptional kid, and I am blessed to be your mom.
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